The group of us doing The Artist’s Way program are just over half way through the book. I wish I could say it’s led to a breakthrough, but it hasn’t. Each chapter I think, “Yes, this is the one that will make the difference.” And each time I find myself disappointed. If I were doing it alone, I would have quit long ago, so it’s a good thing there’s a group of us. I don’t see much benefit to the morning pages, though I do like starting the day out more slowly. And so far most of the artist dates have felt like an obligation and not a joy filled experience.
It has, at least, helped me to recognize some of the roots of this block. I found myself unable to write from the point I was forced to move last summer. I haven’t been sure why since I do, for the most part, love where I moved. I miss the view of the park I had out the window of my last office, but I think I love the new office more. It’s a cozy place to write. But ever since the move, I have been almost paralyzed over money. It is dwindling away as more and more repairs are needed. How am I going to get through inflation and gas prices. I feel like I’m in way over my head. That is not a good place from which to try to write.
Sadly, I don’t find a lot of advice to help me through those feelings in The Artist’s Way. But I continue to plug away and hope that eventually, something will break through and unleash the stories again. Today I at least took a stab at writing a short story for an upcoming writing contest. I’m not inspired, but I’ve got some words on the page. We’ll see where it goes.
My mind is filled with worry about Ukraine, Europe, and World War III. At the beginning of this I worried the war would spread and we needed to do everything we could to keep that from happening. But as each day passes, and I understand more, I worry the US will once again take too long to get involved. Hitler was redressing Germany’s humiliation and the world appeased him at first and let him annex countries. Putin is redressing the USSR’s humiliation and the world appeased him at first, letting him annex countries. If he gains anything from this invasion, it will be seen as a victory, and will give him the encouragement to keep attacking his neighbors. If we wait, millions will die, and we will still eventually get dragged into it. Perhaps we need to step in now and shut his aggression down. A terrible realization for someone who considers themselves a pacifist. And it’s a terrible realization of what that will mean for the world.
With all this on my mind, I am supposed to write? Yes, yes I am. And I’m trying. I hope eventually get back to it, but I think I’m done beating myself up over it. The stories will come back some day, if I and the world live long enough.by